The Cutting Board By Cappy Hall Rearick

 

It was such an ordinary thing.

 The one item in her kitchen 

I never thought was important. 

I was so wrong.

 

Mama had left this world a week before and for the first time in days, I was alone. My brother had returned to Florida and I, being the only daughter, remained behind in our mother’s home to sort through what had been her life for seventy-four years.

I hugged and said tearful goodbyes to my family, then waved as their car disappeared for the long trip back to Sarasota. I stood rooted in place even though I could no longer see them. Why? Maybe I hoped for a change of heart, a change of plans. Maybe I hoped to see headlights instead of taillights.

Reluctantly, I went back into the house, tombstone quiet since everyone had left. Right away, I realized the emotional importance of staying busy. There was a lot to do and although my brother and his wife had helped, there was still much to get done. 

My Southern Mama had saved every edition of Southern Living Magazine ever published. The magazines were either special to her or she got so used to them being there that they became fixtures. In any case, one quick decision on my part and they were history.

Wandering into the kitchen, my resolve faded like morning fog. Mama had been a sucker for gadgets. QVC was on her speed dial. Had Amazon Prime been available back then, she’d have been one ecstatic consumer.

I took a deep breath, plopped into a kitchen chair and put my head in my hands. Where to start? My first thought was a need to find any wine left from the funeral reception and my search paid off in the form of a forgettable generic cabernet. While one of my hands held a full glass of the red liquid, the other opened cabinets to allow me access to Mama’s kitchen tsunami. 

Three hours later, seated cross-legged on the cold tile floor, surrounded by baked-on greasy cookware, I leaned my back against a lower cabinet and sighed. I should have started this project while my brother was still around to lug the heavy boxes off to Goodwill or the dump. I drained the glass of wine. 

I made a sizable dent in clearing out unwanted stuff in the room that had been the lifeblood of our family for years, but there was still so much to do. Glancing around the room, shadow memories of past celebrations held over many years flooded my soul. I fished out a heart-shaped baking pan and could almost taste the red velvet cakes Mama always baked for my Valentine birthday. Good times. She loved to cook, never followed a recipe but managed to come up with unforgettable creations, most of which were never duplicated. 

I pulled in a ragged breath and told myself if I didn’t stick to the job at hand I would start bawling like the kid I no longer was. Reaching way back into a bottom cabinet, my hand came in contact with what felt like a board. I pulled it out and gasped. 

It was Mama’s old cutting board given to her, she said, just after she got married. 

I gazed at the many indentions in the board and visualized Mama at the kitchen counter pummeling a tough piece of round steak as if it were the anti-Christ. I saw her shake salt and pepper on the battered meat and then sift it with flour. I dug around in the cabinet and found her old metal flour sifter with the green handle. I remember it turning around and around and dusting flour on whatever Mama was making— country fried steak, fried chicken or pork chops. Even biscuits.

I put the cutting board and the sifter on the floor next to me while years of ordinary days and nights came back to life. I could almost taste the gravy Mama poured over the tenderized meat after she beat it into submission, and the mashed potatoes (never instant) she served with a meat meal. I remembered the green vegetables flavored with bacon drippings she forced me eat.

 

My fingers moved over the deep grooves in that cutting board and co-mingled with years of looking back on a life well-lived while my salty tears added flavor to the memories.