How did Hoppin’ John get its name?
One theory is that it originated from the
Creole name for pigeon peas, “pois a pigeon,” pronounced “pwah peeJon.” Close
enough for Southerners to say Hoppin’ John from that point on.
Some believe it originated with a children’s
game similar to musical chairs where kids hop up and down at the table, hence
the name. Duh. The Grandkids from Hell love to jump up and down at the table as
though they’ve swallowed Slinkies … even when it’s not New Year’s Day.
Babe claims that in Pennsylvania people eat
pork and sauerkraut to clean them out in preparation for the coming year. Yuk.
Homemade colonoscopies might pass as Yankee logic, but I’ll settle for kids
jumping up and down at the table like Jack (on Crack) in the Box.
Believing that it will ward off bad luck,
Southerners adhere to the tradition of eating pork, collards and Hoppin’ John
on New Year’s. I am Southern to the bone, but I was not always a believer. I am
now.
In 1960 I said to my mother, “No Hoppin’ John
for me and certainly no collards. I hate greens.” So I ate no peas and rice or collards
on that first day of the year over fifty years ago. Big mistake.
Mama roasted Boston Butt pork to a
fair-thee-well and had her collards swimming in ham pot likker like Esther
Williams. I didn’t believe for a minute that a year of good luck depended on certain
veggies eaten on January first. But I never met a pig I didn’t want to take
home to Mama, but after downing three pork sandwiches — my one nod to tradition
— I was struck with the bellyache from hell. I thought I was dying. A stomachache
was only a hint of what was to come. Had I but known, I’d have seriously
considered mainlining leftover collards.
Obviously I didn’t die, but the very next day
my dog blitzed a can of Alpo, looked up at me, and croaked. It is true that she
was old, but her death was still a shock. I was a kid and that dog had been
begging for table scraps all my life. Her high-speed exit made me think that
she, too, should have eaten collards.
Susie Q was buried in the back yard. Mama and I
watched and cried while passing each other the Kleenex box. Daddy was a
policeman and the gravediggers were prisoners from the jailhouse. He wore a
dark suit and tie and stood at the gravesite with his hands clasped in front of
him. I said, “Daddy looks like a preacher,” and we laughed through our tears.
On January third, I set the kitchen on fire. I
didn’t do it on purpose, it just happened. That afternoon, I’d been craving
French Fries. After pouring lard in the frying pan, I realized we were slap out
of potatoes.
Forgetting that I’d turned on the burner under
the lard, I grabbed my pocketbook and walked to the Piggly Wiggly for a
five-pound bag of potatoes. I was dilly-dallying back home pretty much like
Prissy in Gone With the Wind, when
the sound of sirens stopped me. Turning the corner, I saw not one red fire
truck, but three of those bad boys parked end to end in front of my house.
Smoke billowed from the kitchen door and open window while neighbors gossiped
and gawked on the sidewalk.
Mama’s kitchen was toast. All of the cabinets had
be repainted; the new wallpaper smelled like a campfire. Mama stayed mad at me
for twelve months.
I dreaded January fourth. Would it bring even
more bad luck? I wondered if the calamities I’d dealt with for three days were
only teasers. Turned out that’s what they were. 1960 was the longest year of my
life. A new piece of bad luck pounced on me every day of that year.
Bottom line? I learned to respect traditions,
why they were established in the first place and why we must honor them no
matter what. These days I think nothing of hogging down Pork, collards and
Hoppin’ John on New Year’s Day. In fact, I totally look forward to that
particular meal.
I promised myself then that every year while my
jaws can still go up and down in chew mode, I will cover my sassy southern
you-know-what by gobbling me up some Hoppin’ John, collard greens, pork and
even some of that boring Yankee delight, sauerkraut. All cabbages and their
cousins are my BFF’s come January first.
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