"A professional
writer is an amateur who didn't quit."
Thinking I
probably wouldn't learn anything new, I drove six hours to attend a Writers
Workshop in October, and guess what? I learned a lot. So who knew?
When I'm
writing, I like to have references other than the basics I've learned to depend
on, like The Elements of Style or my
personal writing Bible, Writing Down the
Bones. So I am happy to share my newfound knowledge with all of you who did
not go to the workshop. The following lists are tried and true rules, if not
quite set in stone, then set in Times New Roman typeface by successful writers.
Kurt Vonnegut
1. Use
the time of your reader in such a way that he or she will
not feel the time was wasted.
2. Give
the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
3. Every
character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
4. Every
sentence must do one or two things – reveal character or advance the action.
5. Start
as close to the end as possible.
6. Be
a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters.
7. Write
to please just ONE person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia. Give your reader as much information as
possible, as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have complete
understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the
story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.
Elmore Leonard
1. Never
open a book with weather.
2. Avoid
prologues.
3. Never
use a verb other than "said" to carry dialogue.
4. Never
use an adverb to modify the verb "said."
5. Keep
your exclamation points under control.
6. Never
us the words "suddenly" or "all hell broke loose."
7. Use
regional dialect patois, sparingly.
8. Avoid
detailed descriptions of characters.
9. Don't
go into great detail describing places and things.
10. Try
to leave out the part that readers tend to skip.
Advice from Michael Connelly
"The
one piece of advice I would give someone about writing is a piece of advice
that was given to me. It is that you have gotta keep your head down when you
write. You can't put your finger in the wind to see what would sell and then
write. You have to write what comes from within. You have to be confident that
you are a member of the human race, so whatever your experiences are and how
you translate them into works will be accepted by someone and hopefully a lot
of someones, But you have to write for an audience of one. Write every single
day even if it's just one paragraph."
So there you
have it, folks. Rules to follow in order to write the great American novel.
Should you use them all? Probably not. But when successful authors take the
time to let you know what they had to learn the hard way? I'd say it's worth a
shot.
There is one
last rule not written down, but was given verbally with strong emphasis. It
flies in the face of one of Mr. Leonard's rules, but it bears repeating. You
are allowed exactly TWO exclamation points in all of your writing. That's it.
Period. No more than two. After you have reached your limit, you will be fined
ten million dollars for every additional exclamation you use. Writers beware!
Oops.
